A war for waking up - On the other side
by ISmile4BTR
Summary: Kendall Knight the suicidal 26 year old man had tried to end his life countless times. For what he thought would be the last and successful attempt, he realized he did not only have to stay alive, but he's forced to live through several lives. How? Because of a project called "The other side". /LONG SUMMARY IN THE FIRST CHAPTER/


**Kendall Knight the suicidal 26 year old man had tried to end his life countless times. For what he thought would be the last and successful attempt, he did not only have to stay alive, but he's forced to live through several lives. How? Because of a project called "The other side", he found himself in the exact copy of the Earth with millions of other people. In the real world they were drugged so to be kept on the other side, where whenever they die they come right back and have to start their lives all over again.  
James Diamond was the researcher who had found out about the damage that living in the other side could cause. But his bosses had put him into the other side, only so he wasn't going to ruin the entire project. His intention was to save everyone and give them their lives back. With a new arrival, Kendall Knight, he might just get to bring off his goal.  
Both of their pasts were dark places to face, and through the years of trying to get out of the virtual planet they may realize that there were no reasons of letting their pasts stop them from living a wonderful life.**

* * *

**A war for waking up - On the other side**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

The last pills.

These were going to be the last ones.

He was certain that this time he was going to make it. He wasn't going to wake up anymore. He didn't at all want anything else more than fall asleep forever.

As Kendall emptied the bottle of painkiller into his palm he remembered of all the ways he'd tried to get out of this world, all failed.

This had to work.

Kendall's hands trembled while he popped one pill after another into his mouth.

But eventually he swallowed every one of them.

He only hoped that his housekeeper wasn't going to look after him for a while. His head lightly touched the pillow. It was a warm comforting feeling going to sleep tonight. He knew that there wasn't going to be any more nightmares, nor in night neither in day. This was the end.

* * *

Sometime later, that didn't actually seem to be more than a few hours, Kendall woke up whining. He had no real idea of what he had done wrong. Why couldn't he just fall asleep and not see the world again? Why did something keep pulling him out of his beautiful darkness?

But this time waking up was different from any time before. A handsome brunette man stood beside him looking down at him with a sad smile. Glancing around the room Kendall noticed that it wasn't the hospital where he used to wake up after each of his attempt of trying to kill himself.

And also, he felt strangely calm. He hadn't felt like that in so long that he couldn't even tell it ever happened to him. Kendall did not only feel peaceful, but strong and very new too. His soul seemed to sit easily in his body. Nothing bothered him.

For an instant he wondered if he after had made it to the other side, and the place he was at was heaven.

"How are you feeling?" The tall, -too-handsome-to-be- a doctor man asked him.

Kendall sat up, curious if he could move properly. Everything went so easily. There wasn't a bit of pain, just calmness. "Just fine."

"That's how it should be." James said. Kendall read the name tag on his white lab coat. "What do you remember from before falling asleep outside?"

"Outside?" Kendall didn't understand what James was referring to.

James raised his eyebrows and for a few seconds he was looking through the chart in his hands. "They didn't write that you're a first timer. Sorry." He quickly scribbled something on the paper but his eyes were right back at Kendall. "So what do you remember?"

"I wanted to die." Without a hesitation Kendall said. He decided he after all didn't care what was going on. The next time he'd have a chance he'd try getting out again.

"I see. You can try it here too again and again but it won't take you anywhere." James lowered to a seat next to the bed.

"And just what do you mean it won't take me anywhere?"

"There's no way out of here. Once you get in here, you stay here." James was like a robot. A robot that was asked for answers and though he did give answers, he never gave the ones that you were seeking for.

"I don't understand." Kendall sighed.

"You probably won't believe me but this world is not the one where you fell asleep last time. It's my job to welcome everyone who arrives, whether it be a first time arrival or one from a previous death. It's my duty to inform you just what is happening."

"You're insane." Throwing the blanket off him, Kendall tried to get up. "I'm leaving." And as he stood he surprised noticed that James wasn't going to make him stay. They stared at each other for a good half-minute, but then Kendall got into moving again, quickly dressed and walked out.

James didn't bother running after him. It happened daily. People wouldn't believe him, wouldn't even hear him out, and then they come back panicking because they have no clue what happened to them.

As Kendall stormed through the hallways in one of the rooms the television was on. He wanted to know what day it was so he peeked in to get the date. The man in the news went on and on about how well the government is doing its job this year. Then the topic changed and he started about the nicely growing population. "Based on the newest researches, our planet counts more than 4 million souls."

"What the hell?" Kendall whispered under his breath. _This world is not the one where you fell asleep. _"Impossible."

Thinking that he just misunderstood what the tv said, he continued walking. But it took only another five or six rooms to pass by when he again caught himself staring into another patient's privacy. There was a young girl, her body covered in scars and wounds. She was dying. The doctors took her off the machines. A woman who had to be her mother, sat by the end of her daughter's bed. With an emotionless expression on her face, she asked one of the doctors, "When will she be back?"

"I'm expecting just in a few seconds." He answered. Everyone stared down at the young blonde, Kendall involved now. And soon the girl opened her eyes. Her skin looked perfect and she had that easy smile on her face. The smile of calmness what he'd felt too when waking up.

Her mother was at her side. "Thank God they sent you back." She said. _They._

_Who are they? _Kendall couldn't believe what he was doing but he definitely made his way back to James. He found him at the nurse station chatting with a three pretty women and wishing them all good luck in their new lives. "I hope we won't see each other here any time soon. Please have fun. But not too much." He winked and the women danced out. "That's what I call friendship." James turned to a nurse. "They've come back for the fifth time and they remember everything, and they still want to go on together."

"Would you tell me what the fuck is going on?" Kendall interrupted their chat, not even bothering to appear sorry for his tone.

"Oh you're back. That was quick." James waved him aside to what looked like an office. "Take a seat."

"Look man. I just saw a girl die. She was dead. I swear she was. And then she was back in like ten seconds and all her scars were gone and she looked like she was all new and it was some deep shit. I don't understand anything. Just tell me how I get out of here."

"You don't." James hated to say it, but that was all truth they knew about this world. There wasn't a way out. "As I said, this world is not the world you knew before. And sadly you aren't going to see that world again. It's very unlikely. Use to it was possible, but it isn't anymore. Once they decide you need to be here, you are stuck here. For the rest of your life. For several lives actually."

"What? Several lives? And who are they?"

"_They _are the people who control this world. They are the ones who actually have created it. It's complicated to explain because I don't know what's going out there since I'm here too for ... too long now. It started with a secret project of the government. It took years of work to make a drug that slows down a person's system and puts him to a calm state. Outside it's like you are dreaming. But it's not actually a dream. They transport your whole being to this world where you live a life that you want or you can. You live, you die, you wake up again and live again and die. It goes in a never ending circle. When you die here, you wake up in the real world. But the computers immediately sense the change in your brain function and give you another dose of the mix that puts you back."

"Why would anyone do such a thing?"

"They thought they were going to save lives. It was a good idea at first. And for a while it is really good. You can live as much as you want. You can do anything you have ever wanted but never tried. You can go with different scenarios after each death. There are people who once want to be singers, they live a life like that. Then they die, and they do something else in their next life. Some wants family, so they make one. Then they die, and with them all the members of the family who don't exist outside, die too. The person can have a whole new start." He'd told this so many times to so many people, that James didn't want to vomit anymore because of just how disgusting the entire thing was. He'd accepted it. His job was to make others accept it too.

Kendall sat still in the chair. "Nobody can die."

"Nobody."

"But fuck!" Jumping up from the seat he went to a wall and hit his head into it several times. "I wanted to die. I still want to die! I didn't do it to get here and fucking live forever!"

James pulled him back from the wall. "You can't do anything about it! They put you here because you were probably suffering in some serious illness or you fell into coma, or whatever. Something that they couldn't help happened to you so you are not supposed to stay here."

Tears dropped from Kendall's eyes. He didn't want this. "Everyone who's here is sick in the real life?" His breathing was hard and out of its normal rhythm.

"No. Not everyone." Kendall seemed to be calm so James released him. They settled back into their chairs. "In the beginning of the project many people paid lots of money to get into the program. They wanted to escape the real world, or they wanted to be immortal."

"But how does this even work? How could a person live so long even if they slow down our system out there, how?"

"In this world time goes faster. Not literally. It feels like outside. But while you go one day here, it is barely a few hours out there."

"If the body dies ... "

"You won't come back here, obviously." James finished. "But by that time you lived here a hundred lives or more."

"I still don't understand why this is a good business for them." Kendall sure as hell hoped that this was just a nightmare. But if in the end he was going to find out that it wasn't, then he knew it was better to know the most possible about this world.

"Out there the population is too fucking big for the Earth. The energy supplies are about to run off in a few decades. There are too many people and less and less space to live at. They wanted to create another world where people can live while they find solution to what just they should do to save the planet from getting over-populated." James knew a lot about the project.

"How do you know all of this?"

"I worked for them." James announced but it was plain he was ashamed. "To the day of me stepping up against the program I was an employee there. A researcher. But I found out that the drug that they use is too addictive. As I said, in the beginning a few people were woken up, but they couldn't live a normal life out there. They needed the drug. The drug that would push them back here. Without it they became too aggressive and dangerous to society. So the leaders decided once someone is in here, is never getting out. I wanted them to stop it. I'd been here a couple of months and watched the people who died and came back again. After too many deaths they go insane here too. Whether you are here or outside, once you are living on that drug, you're fucked. Some people remember things from their earlier life, some don't. Those who remember a few things go unstable because of the confusion that the memories cause. Those who don't remember are mostly fine. But there are only a few of those. They are the people who are in coma outside. Their brains are dead there, so when they come here again they are unable to recall memories from a previous visit. But those with healthy brain functions remember a lot. Some remember every single thing."

"This is terrible." Kendall cut into James' words. "What if they fall in love and live a nice life, but then die? Even if they remember some things, the other person may be someone who doesn't even exist outside?"

"You get that right. A lot of people make families here. Then they die, and with them everyone else dies too. But the person comes back. The family is gone though. Even they remember little, they do. And that drives them crazy. They miss them, they can't replace them. But some people can make it through. But then they probably don't start another family. They are afraid of what will happen after they die."

"And those who don't make it through?"

"There are several hospitals here where they are held. That's all we can do." James got up and made it to the door. "Come on. I show you how this works."

They went through the hospital. Kendall saw several people dying, then coming back. And just as James had said, some didn't remember a thing from before. While some remembered everything and started from where they had left off. Some of the people who died were old, but when they came back they were young again.

"James." At the end of their tour, glancing down at the town from the top of the building, Kendall had no idea where to go or what to do. He wanted to stay with James as long as he could. "How long have you been here?"

"Five years straight since my last death." James replied. Kendall looked at him. He seemed to be around thirty years. "For a while I tried getting out but after I realized I couldn't do that I use every one of my lives to do something productive. I'm lucky I remember everything from earlier so I could do my researches. I've not given up on finding my way out of here."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Stay sane?"

"I focus on what I want. I want to get out. I have no idea what time is it out there. I don't know what they are doing. But I know what's going on here. They don't. At least I don't think so."

He was a little unsure about whether to tell James about the _outside, _but then he finally did start. "It's 2013 out there." But he didn't dare to go any further.

"I've used up several lives and it's only 2013?" James laughed. "I don't know if I am happy or sad about it. Sometimes I want it to end, you know?"

"Oh I do." Laughing too, Kendall highfived James. "Looks like when we finally get to the end we also get to the start of something new."

"That's wise." James nodded.

Wise was nothing that Kendall had been before. This place had already started to change him. He didn't want that. He wanted to go back to his world. And die. He didn't want another chance. He'd used up too many. He didn't deserve new chances. He didn't want to start over again, to be happy then to be down. To be someone, then to be no one. _Too much pain what life is._ "I didn't sign up for this."

"A very few of us did, Kendall. But I believe we can wake up somehow. We can stop this. But now I have no idea how to do that. They planned this out too well."

"We have all time of the world before we are off. I want to get out too. Not because I want to get my old life back. I want to get my chance of dying back."

Whenever someone wanted to die as bad as Kendall did, James wanted to punch them in the face and tell them to appreciate their living. So he grabbed Kendall's shoulders. "Kendall that's ... "

He was expecting some sort of protest from James, but that didn't mean he would listen to him. "No, James, no." Kendall looked at him in the eye. "I'm a huge mistake to the world. Whichever world it is we are speaking of, I'm just a burden. I don't want to be alive. I want to get out. I'll help you with anything you need help with." He pulled away from James and straigtened his clothes.

Sighing James watched him. "We will work something out." It was obvious for James that there was no point in arguing with Kendall. Maybe in the end of it all Kendall would change his mind. Maybe in the end Kendall would like the next start. Maybe.

And maybe James would be able to wake everyone up.

At least now he had a mate in the process. He wouldn't have to do it alone. He wasn't the only sane one who wanted out. "It's a war then." Kendall whispered into the sunset.

"It is. A war for waking up."


End file.
